im good,
for nothing.

chinese paper gone case liao.
so difficult.
hais.

lol.
i copied gary's nick:
No matter how hard i try, sth will jus nv change.
its true.
no matter how hard i try,
there will still be things that will never change.
cause i suck.
(:

was at mrt station.
junlong, angie n yp was sitting on the floor,
im standing.
junlong suddenly pop this:
you legs dont looks as FAT as your upper body.
bleah.
i know.
heavy upper body,
round face,
small eyes small mouth small nose.
;/
not intentional,
i understand.

//runs

moodswing.
for no good reason.
nth gonna make me cheer up for the time being.
byebye.

click to enlarge!


neos taken ytd.
jo nv take with us,
we are just like siblings lar!


new member of tay family.
chinchilla! cute right?

im bored.
exam tml.
kinda nervous.

breathe in,
breathe out.

//runs

back home.
home is a safer place man.

go town saw a guy that is appealing to me.
just like them:



call them gays.
i dont care.
cos i LIKE.
lol.

suppose to blog abt going out,
but sth happened when i go home.
there goes:

went home alone instead.
feeling bored n start thinking abt alots off things.
too sad liao.
i alighted at khatib to get a drink before i go home.
i walked towards the busstop,
just nice lar,
all bus just went off,
then i thot to myself: "shit. alone at bus stop."

then a indian guy walks toward the bus stop.
nvm.
he approach me by this sentence: " you look familiar, i think i saw u at wlds b4."
followed by all the nonsense qns.
i tell you,
scared me to death.
say what when he younger, he share the same interest as me: hang out at fareast.
say what, i look familiar, cute, sweet.
good liar.
then standing closer n closer to me.
at that point of time i really wish someone can save me.
then ask me if i do drink or smoke,
yet he ans himself: i think a jc student not suppose to smoke/drink right?
grrt,
stupidly, i answered yes.
and he offered me the tiger beer he just bought.
i rejected.
he followed by saying :i dont mind buying you cigerette (:"
again i crapped : " no thanks, i'm not a heavy smoker."
duh.
the whole conversation is shit,
for a moment,
i wished that i can go home as soon as possible,
even thou im feeling down.

cos usually i would walk home alone,
sorting out my thoughts.

anyway.
when i board the bus i quickly call mer.
talk to him.
pheww.
xia si wo le.
i still cant really calm down.
for more detailed version,
ask me when u see me.
LOL.

oh well,
he just made me hate males more.

//runs

oh shit.
i'm sucha bitch to pangseh my joyceeee,
sorry X a million times.
really, truly sorry.
hais.
hope you will forgive me.
i think my habit of being late n pangseh pple is getting bad.
hais.
so sorry lar my darling.
give u a kiss!
dont angry kies.

a picture of you and me.
see! you so pretty!
dont angry hor.
really really sorry,
next friday i confirm meet you,
dont care going sch or not.
its a promise lar.

//laters

i slept from 6 till 11.
lol.
so tired lar.
woke up and came online.
chatting on msn again.
no life.
boooo!

now drinking dilute beer,
put too many ice liao.
but cold then nice ma.

gotta improve my oral presentation more.
Peishsi, must relax.
jiayoujiayou.
we can do it!
can overcome stage fright one.

for those who felt depressed,
ppl like mermer, cgy n sher,
must take care okies?
cheer up.
anyhow,
you have US!
we're all here for you,
just a sms/ phone call away.
anything just call or sms (:
msn also can.

i think mer sleep liao,
nv reply me on msn.

going to finish my beer,
read newspaper,
make a shopping list in case i meeting joyce tml.
(:
then sleep.

and yay,
chinese is on monday.
haven't study lei.
howhow.

//runs

sher went offline,
followed by mr ng,
den jh,
yvette,
mer.
HEY, i felt so abandoned.
lol.

no,
i cannot be selfish.
must let u all get some slp.
(:

mer,
u get what i mean,
i mean i cant help den i feel useless,
u dun feel bad cos u nv made me feel useless,
i just feel useless myself lor,
friend feeling sad yet cannot help and make u feel bad,
double lousy,
lol.
my vocab limited,
but anyhow,
we just want you to be happy alright.
right sher?
i noe i singlish,
but i noe u noe, mer.
simle lar!

mr ng,
bu yao zou!
hais,
is there anything thing we can do?

i shld spend my night sleeping alr.
if i continue to stay up late i will get depression.
cos i cant stop thinking.
i hink mayb auntie coming cos im getting emotional these two days.

good night.
//runs

mr ng may be reading this.
HI!!!!
-waves-



i have problem with my comp.
thanks man.
hopefully it will crash only aftter my OP,
if not im useless for the PW alr.

today was a long day lar.
did chinese test in the morning,
heh,
just crap lor,
dint study at all.
after the paper went cwp to eat ljs.
went cold storage to buy things for donation.
bet with sisi that jh will eaat her mua chee,
SEEE, he ate it and finish it hor!
lol.
i won the bet (:

cab down to delta sports complex for hockey.
wth,
$13.70.
i broke liao.
sat at delta there and do pw.
(:
i think i did quite alot.

after their training took train home.
stupid jh,
pull my bag,
i thot i dun need to alight.
LOL.
so stupid.
many of them alight at woodlands to makan,
i broke le,
so i went back to yishun.
stone at yishun station.
thinking y m i so alone.
haha.
thou i have many friends.
but i still feel alone.
nvm,
i know they love me!!
:X
being bhb.
please ignore me.

met up with rachel n kitmun,
helping rachel with her o level.
went home after that.

trying to go online,
and i realise my comp gonna crash SOON.

shall continue with my slides.
(:

//runs

haha,
today i'm a good girl.
i attended both chinese tutorial n lecture.

was nervous for the pw oral presentation.
but overall i think im still okies.
i must overcome the stage fright soon lor.

after sch bring jh to see sinseh.
made sisi alight with us,
i need someone's company,
cos jh will be shy to say anything.
hiak hiak.
jh bought us ice cream.
my shirt kena paint!
shit lor.
haha.
then i create chance for jh to spend time with Si*cough*Si.
sisi will be freaking irritated if she see this!
haha.

after jh n sisi went back,
i waited for my mum at mac.
waiting for her to go see doc with me.

mer msg me,
telling me he depressed.
feel so bad when i cant cheer my friend up.
such a failure lor.
i dont know what to say to him to make him feel better.

Mermer ah,
be happy,
stay strong.
dont let us worry k,
esp me n sher!!

and ya,
my leg is not hamstring injury.
its knee injury.
LOL.

mer haben reply my sms lei.
worry worry.
continue with slacking....

//runs

okies,
i have problem with blogging.
grrt.
that's explain why i dint blog ytd.

ytd:
met up with my buds at J8 coffeebean.


the only drink we bought.


the only lil man with us..


me and my princess(:


bitching partner (:


love you both no matter what.



alright.
going to sch today was a hugh mistake.
haha.
like some freaks hiding here and there to escape chinese lecture.
we were at M2-1 playing some music from JH's mp3.
we got caught by our dearest principal ms yeo.
and YAY.
thanks man.
she made us walk into the LT,
waves to the teachers and shouted:
"hello. i juz caught dis grp of ppl wasting my resources instead of attending lecture..."
TSK.
oh well.
oops,shall not make any nasty comment before i get caught (:
sher and all hide were in comp lab,
lucky them.

after sch pangseh my 65s,
went to joyce hse to play mahjong.
thanks to my princess.
wao kao.
only play 2 rounds and somebody is so gan chiong to see bf lor hor!!
then left me, joyce n gary.
got nth to do.
having very random chat.
heh heh.
then i'm thinking,
will all of us still be tgt ten years later?
still as close?
haha.

//runs

arghhh!
finally.
there's some prob with the skin ytd.
redo it this afternoon.
a smaller version now.
(:

//runs

back.

back with new skins.
click F11 for a better view of it.
(:

sorry for lack of updates.
lazy.
lol.
wr oso dint help much,
gy, i more useless.

firstly blog abt my results:

econs - E
mahts - AO
phys - F
gp - 45
chinese - 69

i made it for the papers.
final result will be out next week,
whether promote anot,
all depends on ermmm, heaven's will?
lol.
hopefully can make it.
i dont wanna part with the class!

wednesday celebrated mermer's bdae.
for pictures please refer to sisi's and mer's blog.
heh.
mer ah.
hope you enjoyed yourself.
next year we will do it AGAIN!


ytd got to know mr ng may not promote with us.
class of 23 falling apart?
heard that he may stay back and teach J1.
so sad.
he is a nice teacher lor.
without him,
65 also wont be the same.
i really want him to stay lar.
so sad that i cried ytd.
okies,
i lazy to talk more abt it.
just very sad.

today is our sch sports day!
lol.
first one.
the spirit,
not that high one lei.
but RASALAS won man!!
WOOHOO.
not last liao.
tonychen that yaya kia cannot laugh at us liao.
after the sports' day me, sher, si n ps went to parade square there.
saw volleyball!
wanna play lor.
haha.
i tell you,
mr ng join us not even 3 mins,
my old injury come back again as i run to hit the ball.
wao.
so paisae lar,
my expression is damn ugly i tell u.
too pain liao.
my face is twisted,
my whole body rolled up,
lie on the floor.
lol.
thanks to those teachers who bring the ice and medical oil to me.
and help me massaged.
but i too shy to say thank you liao.
smsed mr ng instead.
LOL.
then again.
i become pai ka.
;/
felt like a crippled person now.
i still wanna play sports one,
why does my leg have to injure NOW
at 17 years old.
WHY.
there's still alot of things i haben do lor.
i felt that it nv recovered.
i still needs a long time.
but when?
hais.

ah,
long entry eh?

//runs

-

gonna have new skin soon.
any updates of url or pple opening new blog update me at my tag ya?
(:

//runs

not feeling well.

argh.
im down with flu i guess.
weather is bad,
everyone must take care hor.

ytd stay over at si's place,
actually wanted to do written report one,
end up too sick to do anything.
sleep and wake up at lest 3 times.
only help with the reference list.
sorry sisi.
sorry jun*ao, nv take care of her.
LOL. :X

morning woke up at ard 8 plus.
went school at ten.
reach sch for the pw lecture.
so lame can.
waste my time.
after that can go home liao.
go makan at foodcourt again.
after makan go walk walk with mer and si.
then i too sick alr,
we headed down to Mos Burger.
sit there,
i end up sleeping.
followed by mer.
poor sisi,
dont dare to fall sleep.
went cold storage after we woke up.
then mer mer want to go pasam malam walkwalk.
sisi too tired go home le.
heex!
saw mr caterpillar there!
(:
then go back to interchange.
mer start to act like a kid again,
want me to go tamp with him.
hehheh.
but i still go home.
too sick alr.

i going to rest soon.
tml still have to edit written report.
wtf.
promos are over yet still so many thigns to be done.
wed got back result le.
heard that i fail physics again.
haha.
so dui bu qi mr ng lei.
now must get ready to decide whether to retain or to leave (:

//runs

waolau

ass hole banana.
i just typed an long entry and *proof*
all gone!
tmd.
aiya,
forget it,
dont blog le.
bye.

//runs

laziness is caused by fat-ness.

gained 1 or 2 kg due to promo.
most of the time mugging at fastfood res.
lol.
esp MAC.
grrt.
and my lazy-level gone up.

hehheh.
been very lazy to update,
for what happened ytd pls refer to sisi's blog.

and YES!
finally promo is over.
but there's more to do.

31st oct - chinese AO level paper.
ard nov - Project work presentation.

my holidays only comes in ard mid November.
sighs.
so my sentosa trip may have to wait,
havent analyse my post-exam timetable ;/

okies,
back to today.
went back sch for pw written report.
due to our lousy english,
hmmm,
our group dint manage to do much.
we went for lunch.
then guys wanna go play bball,
go to cck,
guess i'm tired,
then not active like that.
then having those usual moodswing cos its raining,
raining give me a kind of sad mood.
lol.
but i love the rains.
cos if u cry in the rain,
nobody will notice,
gary told me one.
(:
then keep wanting to go home,
sorry lei girls.
lol.

tml meeting for written report again.
mayb going swimming or what.
or jogging?
want to go on diet le lar.
hate to be suan.
fat is a crime meh?
...
lol.


//runs

blogging again.

bleah, still not sleeping,
gonna fail anyway.
y i bother to try.
dont know.
deperate to pass?
maybe.

hais.
;/
hais.
;/

concentrate!!!
i cant do it lei.

really dont understand,
just a year difference,
but its like it has been so long ago,
so much like a stranger whenever seeing some old friends.
grrt.
even those closer ones.
weird yea?

okies stop rubbish le.

//runs

random.

last paper tml.
went sch to find mr ng for help in revision for physics.
we only manage to go thru 4 chapter.
i gave up.
;/

i was so tired.
yet i cant get to sleep.

only went to meet sher and ps after 5,
i was in sch since 10.30.
dint get to see mer also.
jh also went sch.
gy was a nonsense.
i guess i gonna flunk tml's paper.
so random.

so sleepy now.
how how?

//runs









i'm so problematic.
i'm confused.
sometimes i just dont wanna move on.

tired tired

went to eat with yp n angie after maths paper.
talking about maths paper,
GONE CASE LIAO.

then,
yuanping is an areoplaner.
put areoplane,
let me fly kite.
i haben sleep den rush to meet her, angie and yuhchu.
then she called and say she tired and wanna sleep.
wahaha,
then nvm,
wanted to join 65s to study,
called them,
they say they going home liao.
haha,
only 3 plus lei.
...
then meet angie to meet yuhchu and nelson at amk
SEE them play billiard,
SEE them smoke.
SEE hor, NEVER SMOKE hor.
wao lau,
i really nth to do.
then after see them play billiard
angie go back to khatib to study with her friends,
i go yishun LJS to study.
eating while studying,
but feel veryvery tired.
tmd.
then decided to go home.
on my way home i go cut hair.
:)))))))))))))))
shorter fringe,
((((((((((((((((:
i dint study at all lor.
shit.
i now go bath and sleep le,
later waking up at midnight to study.
wasted m whole day.
haiss...
//runs

-

time flies.
mer remind its alr a week.
its alr monday.
ever since my 15th birthday,
time seems to pass very quickly.
treasure the pple ard you.
treasure what you have.
live life to the fullest.
try not to be mean even if you hate that person.
;/

okies.
i'll try to be nicer to my daddy,
i talk to him like he's my enermy.
hais.
shldnt have.
my grandad is having lungs cancer,
last stage.
and i havent visit him for 2 weeks.
he could hardly recognise me even if i go.
;/
and my dad is having alot of stress
knowing that his dad is not feeling well.
i;m rather hearltess,
till now my tears gland still not working.
i will visit him this weekend,
heard that he is so skinny that you can hardly find any flesh on him.

my resolution now:
try not to touch anymore ciggrette,
make my dad quit it too.
i know i couldn't make it.
just an attempt.
sometime i still need to turn to ciggrettes when stress or depress.
;/

back to maths chapter2.
haha.
CHAPTER TWO ONLY.
tml maths paper.
damn.

//runs

3 more days.

3 down,
2 more to go.
maths paper tml.

econs buang liao.
i practically just hit the point and go,
aim for the minimun, but dont even know can hit it anot.
DRQ give up my 5 marks.
MCQ tikum one.
congrats me man,
most confidence paper is like shit alr.

went to eat after econs paper.
then went home to sleep.
initially still wanna find sher n si at civis after my nap.
but i woke up at ard 6!!!
tmd.
there goes my maths paper lor.
SHIT LAR.
suppose to wake up at 4,
now alr going to 7?
really is tmd.
not enought time to complete revision alr.

haha,
mer wanna pull me to tamp,
but i really too tired liao,
tired until having headache.

thou i know my gp, econs is gone case liao,
i still not giving up any paper.
not even physics lor.
after physics paper sure go play one.
but promote anot,
heh heh,
all i can say is i have not gave my best,
its all last minute work,
ling shi bao fou jiao.
dunnoe bao de dao ma.
but aiya,
its my best last minute effort i can give liao.
:p
this is how i survive sec sch,
but mayb not jc?

//runs

eh,
haha
seriously, i'm fine alr.
i never take it to heart alr.
(:
lets all not take it to heart also.

sisi u also.
sisi be confidence with urself,
many pple say u pretty lor,
dun care abt minor thing (:
character is more impt alright.

argh.
i;m not suppose to be here.
my sms exceeded,
allowance is used up.
2 more weeks to go and i;m left with $19.
DEAD,
lol.

//runs

home.

actually wanted to blog abt what happened,
but i think it wasnt intentional afterall.
forget it.
just felt a lil hurt.
its not the person,
its the words.
;/
not the first time anyway.
fat then fat lor.
last time tio suan by damien until i nth to say.
what can i do?
at first felt very affected.
then later feel nth le.
cos used to it le.
and how many times i said i wanna lose weight.
but lol.
still the same.
ah,
i dont want to start cos i know i cant stop.

angie u're wrong.
my character is not a prob.
its not wrong to be a lil shy or bored.
its the FATS.
;/

dun worry,
i'm fine alr.
lol.
not angry or what lar.
more angry with myself.
why am i fat?

//runs

not mugging.

at 1 o'clock i start flipping thru econs term1 notes.
at 2 o'clock i finally reach page12.
now i'm still at page 12.
term1 page 12.
wahaha.
i dont know what to do with myself.
econs paper is on monday,
yet i'm slacking.
shld i get out of my hse?
hais.
forget it.
its alr 5pm plus le.
make full use of tml?
i doubt so.
always end up messing things up.
shyt.

okies,
i think i better start doing sth abt it.
not gonna sleep early.
be back later?

//runs

sian ah.

blog-hop again,
istead of mugging econs.

how i wish i have as much free time as my poly friends.
why the damn m i a jc student
hurhur.
-roll eyes-
i wanna go sentosa with joyce they all,
i wanna go kbox with gen they all,
i wanna hang out.
i WANT!
hais.
why the fuck m i stuck in IJC.
thou i love my classmates,
but i hate to know how much fun i've missed out.
WAOLAU.
hais.
hais.

but come to think of it again,
if i am able to make it,
get into NUS or NTU.
mayb there's better things in the future awaiting for me.

...
but what if..
i couldnt make it....
HAHA.

aiya.
dreaming again.
lol.
-pokes-
;/

//runs

one more week to go.

today gp paper.
yucky banana.
fail liao.
all qns i anyhow answer one lor,
lol.
monday econs.
tuesday maths
thursday physics.
and end of my jc life! struggles.
lol.
can go out play le!!!
at least can hang out for a few days,
then must really sit down and mugg for chinese AO paper.

i really have alot of plans for holidays.
haha.
holidaysholidays.
-drools-
lol.
k lar.
go mug econs le..

//runs

moodswing again.

went to buy dinner just now.
alone.
then thinking abt some things again.
ah,
mood swing.
.
being weishan is like travelling in a rollercoaster.
tmd.
.
.

//runs

sleepy

edited the last entry.
lol.
dont wanna let too many pple know what i did le lar.
-bleah-

think i'm still living in self denial.
sort of lar.
like after 1 n a half year i still go ard telling pple i used to like him.
PUI.
tmd.
i shall not talk abt him anymore.
no point.
too long ago le.
its just that that place in my heart is still empty.
its not that i still like him,
its just that there's no replacement.
not even the last minor crush.
haha.
cheh
y m i sitll talking abt him.
tmd.
tmd.

no use liking pple one,
esp guys.
esp me.
;/

so tired.
mayb goin to mugg somemore.
dont know lei.
very sleepy le actually.

just got home from mer's dad's funeral.
mer,
you must be strong okie.
study hard and do your dad proud!

//runs

Cum Gong Kia.

blogging again.
wahahha.
morning took cab to school becos i late.
tmd.
cost me $6.50 b'cause driver took a wrong turn,
he drove me ard wlds.
like tour like that.
then i first time see the vista point.
...
after pe then kena PMS cramps liao.
so pain until i fainting like that.
cannot take it.
then ask mr ng help me sign the dismissal form.
feel so cum gong.
go for pe only,
then GO HOME
haha.

i go home with chengwei cos he fell down and injured hand.
he dont know where to see those chinese doctor
so i brought him to yishun.
his hand swallow swollen n out of shape like that.
LOL.
that uncle/doctor say his hand mayb bone crack liao,
if still swell must go hospital and Xray it.
take care lar Lao Fu Zi [ cw]...

kk,
i go rest and study le.
//runs

haha.
chinese paper.
alright lar,
some part difficult some part easy.
anyway not impt one,
just to get us prepared for 31st oct de AO level paper.

after chinese went for pw thingy.
then went Mac mugg le.
see Mac i also sian le,
so only eat ice cream and steal sher's fries.
after that eat peishi nuggets.
LOL.
like so poor like that.
after 4 hrs,
i saw a baby so cute,
her mother also quite pretty.
then the baby too cute lar,
very distracting.
distract until i cant study le,
so i went home.
wanted to sleep but i just had my dinner.
hmmmm,
so i need to mugg alr,
tonight then sleep..
friday GP le,
damn scary.
hope i cant pass can le.
D7 also nvm.
k lar,
stop blogging le.

//runs

paranoid.

tml's first promo paper,
mothertongue.
how time flies,
me alr spent 7mths with 65s alr.
howhow?
exam so near...
i haben really finish my revision.
shld i care or shld i not care?
actually i start to feel bonded with the class,
esp the girls and my studay grp.
if i go poly,
i have to start all over again,
which i really hate.
howhow?
H.O.W?

i think i'm being paranoid.
haha.
alrighty.
meeting my study grp in 2 hrs time.
mugging time!!

//runs

why bothers?

sometimes, you just dont have to be bothered by those who dont love you.
you should have spent more time loving those who care,
instead of pondering why pple hate you.

was doing blog-hop.
i realised i'm a hated child.
esp among my sec1&2 classmates.
m i oversensitive?
i dont know.
i just feel that way,
probably i suck.
alrighty,
i try not to be bothered by it.
cause there're still pple who really care for me (:

2 more weeks before promo ends,
i'm not going to be bothered by the results too[ hopefully].
need to meet up with my darlings n bros alr,
before their hols end.
sherwin did mentioned mayb we shld have a chalet or sth,
just like a year ago...
but everyone's hols are different,
mayb we'll just have a small gathering?
darlings:
shopping and another trip to sentosa?
just give me 2 more weeks!!

//runs